Today marks 5 years since losing my parents to a head-on collision with a drunk driver.
I never know how holidays and anniversaries are going to hit me until they’re here.
This year, I find myself being thankful.
I’ve always been the kind of person who doesn’t show or say what I’m feeling. A lot of times I wouldn’t even let myself feel at all. After losing my parents, I faced so many feelings of depression, lonliness, anger, regret, loss, pain, abandonment. Although I had a perfect reason I still refused to express or deal with my emotions.
One night, about 6 months ago, God told me to sit down on the couch because He wanted to show me some things. For two hours, one by one, God revealed past hurts and regrets to me and told me that He was showing them to me one last time so that I could say goodbye. It was a painful process but God knew I was ready and it was far past time. From that night forward, I have felt completely whole and healed.
As the years have passed, God has shown me how to open up, first to Him and slowly to those I trust. It has been in my quiet time with God that I have allowed every emotion to come out so that He could deal with it and heal me.
I faced my time of tears from sadness and I now find myself crying tears of joy. I faced my time of mourning and now God has turned it into dancing. God has worked all things for good, just like He always does. He has shown that “To everything there is a season (Ecc. 3).”
Had you met me a few years ago, you would have found a broken, distant, insecure girl. But today, I stand before you whole, healed, and held together by the hands of my beautiful Savior. ♡
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, Forever; I choose Jesus.