In the Arms of Abba; allowing God to be my Father

Abba:  The word Abba is an Aramaic word that would most closely be translated as “Daddy.” It signifies the close, intimate relationship of a father to his child, as well as the childlike trust that a young child puts in her “daddy.”

A month before my parents passed away, I was betrayed by someone who I considered a close friend.
One day shortly after, I had been in my room thinking about the situation and feeling irrevocably heartbroken. I came out of my room, walked directly into the bathroom where my Dad was fixing his hair and began to cry. He looked at me and asked what was wrong and I just dropped my head onto his chest and wept. I stood there, covering my Dad’s chest with tears, and he simply held me, smoothed my hair, and assured me that everything would be okay. And, because he said it, I believed it to be true.

After my parents passed away, I remember thinking, “Daddy will never hold me while I cry, ever again.” That thought has crossed my mind and brought me to tears countless times over the last seven years. But it has also led to some amazing, life-altering moments with God.

I’ll never forget one night, two years later, when I was sitting in the dark on my couch in my apartment. I was having an especially bad day of missing Mom and Dad. I sat weeping in agony and saying to God, “It just isn’t fair. I just want my Daddy to hold me while I cry and tell me that everything will be okay.”

I continued to cry and whisper, “God, I need You. I need you. I need you…”
I felt the Holy Spirit begin to settle on me and surround me. And I suddenly felt like arms were wrapped around me in a loving embrace.
At first, I was a little scared because I knew there was no one there but me. But then I realized exactly what was happening. God was answering my desperate prayer in the most beautiful and perfect way. As I desperately cried out to be held my Daddy, God settled in and I was held by my Father.

I sat there, in complete awe, in, not only the overwhelming presence of God, but in the Loving and capable arms of Abba.

In that very moment, I knew that God was offering me the Spirit of adoption, giving me permission to call Him Abba, Father (Rom. 8:15). He was reaching out with open arms of Love and belonging, all I had to do was lean in and accept.

I remember closing my eyes, resting my head on the couch cushion, and continuing to cry. I wasn’t miraculously relieved of my grief and sadness, instead, I was miraculously comforted and held by the God of creation.

In the absence of my Dad the Spirit of Adoption has made God my Father.

When I would have run to my Dad for direction and answers, God and His Word have been my Direction and Guide.
When I have needed someone to lovingly correct me and set me straight, my Father has stepped in and protected me from harm.
When I have been heartbroken over broken relationships, failed plans, and the loss of my parents, I have found my Healer, my Counselor, my Comforter, and my Friend in the arms of Abba.
In moments when my Dad should have been there, from getting my driver’s license to walking down the aisle, I have been held together in the arms of Abba.
When no one else can feel my pain, when no one else can hear my heart, when no one else can bear the weight, God, Abba, Father, knows exactly what I need.

 “When the time came to completion, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law,  to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” So you are no longer a slave but a son,and if a son, then an heir through God (Gal. 4:4-7).”

2 thoughts on “In the Arms of Abba; allowing God to be my Father

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