Last night I felt a pull, an impression, a stirring, whatever you want to call it, in my heart to sit down at my piano and just worship. I used to do this constantly, my time of worship sitting at my piano and singing were my time of escape and my deepest connection with God and where I learned to let go of things that I was holding too tightly. And then life happened. You know. We all know. Life, man, it will kill you if you let it.
I still journey back to my piano every few weeks or so but it had been a while since I felt such a pull to have an intentional time of worship on that bench and God. was. waiting. for. me.
As has always been my habit in these moments, I left the lights off with a small light on in the distance, just enough to see so that I don’t run into a wall (that has happened more than once) and I just played. I just sang. I just worshiped. No agenda or questions or worries. I just sang a song to my God who is so worthy of my time and worship. And do you know what happened? He met me. He inhabited my praise. He covered me in peace and wrapped me in His arms of Love. I’m not sure how long I sat there, singing the lyrics as a prayer over and over again, enjoying just sitting with my Heavenly Father, before He started talking. And once He started, I really don’t know how long I was there.
If you follow me on Instagram then you know two things that are happening right now 1) I’m praying about some important decisions and intentionally choosing my reads and 2) One of those reads are 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs , a daily devotional that I absolutely recommend (Amazon link included).
So earlier this week I was spending some time with God and reading my devotional for that day and the prompt was to ask God the questions you’ve been too nervous to ask. My response was a little different. Instead I said, God, I’ve been asking you the same questions over and over for weeks and months, I don’t want to ask any more. I just want to ask them once and for all and trust that you will answer them when and how you want. I’ve been sick of asking and re-asking, of feeling like I’m repeating myself and pestering God like a preschooler. I know that He is faithful to answer our questions and I know that He doesn’t answer when or how I want. So I wrote a list of questions in my journal and said, Okay, I’m leaving these here. I’m done asking. I know you’ll answer when you know I’m ready. And I did that. I left them and every time I’ve started to worry about one of those things I’ve had to audibly remind myself that I laid them at the feet of Jesus and there they will remain until He picks them up. Easier said than done, but effective nonetheless.
As I sat there last night, worshiping God with no agenda, with no desperation for answers, just enjoying Who He is and in awe of the fact that He chooses to sit down next to me, He started whispering answers to me. And instead of feeling worry or anxiety or uncertainty rise up, I felt peaceful, I felt hopeful, I felt expectant and excited for the future that God has planned for Tyler and I. And I was so beautifully reminded of the power of prayer and worship in our lives.
It can be so easy to get caught up in uncertainty about life and God’s will. We can be so quick to run to God with question after question, demanding and expecting immediate answers. Or at least I can. In the midst of decision making and asking for direction from God it is far too easy for me to jump to anxiety and impatience. And every time that happens, God slowly brings me back down, silences my swirling thoughts, slows my racing heart, and brings me back to the place of peace, of trusting Him, believing Him, worshiping Him, and being with Him just because I can, just because I enjoy it, with no desperation for anything but more of Him.
That’s the power of prayer and worship in the life of God’s children. It realigns our desires and thinking with God’s will, it opens us up to hear Him more clearly and welcome what He has to say more freely, and it helps us to see ourselves in light of who God is. Worship reminds us that God is worthy of everything and we are worthy of nothing that He offers. We are so undeserving of His love, His word, His truth, His life, yet He offers it freely. When life feels hard and your thoughts seem chaotic, when was the last time I just worshiped? And no matter how long or recently has been, worship. Make space for God, welcome Holy Spirit in, and let Jesus whisper the Truth that God knows about you.
I’m so grateful for the reminder that worship changes everything. And I hope I can give you that reminder too. No matter what the question is, I’ve found that the answer can always be found in worship. Because God loves to answer our questions, but first He wants to be the joy of our hearts.